Autistic Adults Share What It's Like Navigating University & The Challenges They Face
"There's not one moment that I'm allowed the leisure to forget that I'm different."
By May Vin Ang — 16 Mar 2023, 11:28 AM
In conjunction with Autism Awareness Month, we asked two young adults on the autism spectrum to share about their experiences in university and how it may differ from others
SAYS: Tell us a little bit about yourself
Fared: Hello! My name is Fared Unang Nad, and I am turning 27 this April. I have a degree in English for Professional Communication from UiTM, and I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at the age of 22, while I was still in the middle of college.
I am currently a full-time freelancer, and I do contract work as a narrative designer in game development, while doing illustration work on the side.
Claire (name changed for privacy purposes): Hi, I'm a 2D artist who is currently pursuing a Diploma in Mass Communications in a private college. I'll be turning 21 later this year.
I've never gone through an official diagnosis due to my parents and the primitive state of Malaysia's psychiatrists. However, I'd say I came to the firm conclusion that I'm autistic when I was 16.
On a side note, I would like to destigmatise my neurodivergent* self-diagnosis. Many people do not have access to good psychiatrists for a formal diagnosis. All we have are our painful years of lived experience. However, after pinpointing that I'm autistic, life became a lot better because I was able to find and use resources to help manage myself better.
SAYS: Have you ever done any kind of therapy? If so, what type and how did it help?
Fared: I have done cognitive behavioural therapy* for multiple mental ailments and neurodivergence. I am also medicated for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Thankfully, I have made considerable progress in my mental health and disability journey that I no longer need as frequent therapy sessions with my psychotherapist, and have a set prescription with my psychiatrist.
My therapy sessions are now on a case-by-case basis and my medication is in steady supply thanks to government subsidies due to my Social Welfare Department-issued persons with disabilities (OKU) card.
Claire: I've never done autism-related therapy, but I've done cognitive behavioural therapy and other types of therapy for depression and anxiety. I'd say therapy helped me reframe thoughts on self-deprecation, social anxiety, and the "what if they all hate me" thoughts. A lot of autistic and neurodivergent people experience anxiety due to living our whole lives not fitting in and being hated for not fitting in.
I still go to therapy, but not very much anymore because of how busy I am.
SAYS: How has university been so far?
Fared: I've graduated now, but I remember struggling with the pace of tertiary education. The most stressful part of achieving my degree was certainly the fact that there was too much to do with so little time.
Thankfully, my lecturers are very understanding of my needs as a mentally disabled and neurodivergent student, and were very accommodating. They gave me some leniency for attendance so that I could pace myself accordingly. I was present at classes only mostly for presentations and assignment-based work.
Claire: I used to go to an art college to study illustration. In art school, the students were great, I made friends who didn't mind that I was socially illiterate. For the first time, I was in an educational environment I was socially happy in. However, the workload made me decide to quit as it took a toll on my mental and physical health.
At my current college though, there hasn't been anyone I've clicked with, or liked. There's only one guy that I'm sort of friends with, but he's more than an acquaintance and not quite at that friend level yet. Most people here are near insufferable, they have a lack of self awareness and critical thinking that makes me hesitant to befriend them and frustrated when working in group projects with them.
I'm doing pretty well academically; I'm a couple semesters away from graduating and I have a CGPA of 3.46. But what stresses me out most is all the social and people stuff. People here are so different. They're painfully neurotypical*, if that makes any sense.
SAYS: Do you find yourself feeling "different" from your neurotypical peers? Or is it just the same?
Fared: Very much so. In fact, I even feel different among my fellow neurodivergent peers because, that's just it, we're all not the same. As someone who experiences psychosis symptoms too, I do a lot of masking* because it can be quite challenging to navigate certain interactions.
Regardless, there is a clear divide in my fundamental understanding of the world in comparison to my assumed neurotypical peers.
Claire: All the damn time. There's not one moment that I'm allowed the leisure to forget that I'm different. At its worst, I feel subhuman in comparison to them. Back in art college, I didn't have to be afraid of my lack of social and neurotypical understanding though. In my new one, I have to mask a lot.
SAYS: A large part of university is doing group assignments, which may be difficult for autistic individuals. How has group work been like for you?
Fared: I believe most of my issues with group work do not come directly from my differences as an autistic individual, but rather from lack of cooperation from groupmates. This is due to the fact that I cannot engage with classroom politics as much, and I tend to get grouped with the rest of the class who have no specific cliques.
Unfortunately, this also usually means that I am paired with the least cooperative groupmates, in which I have to compensate for their lack of work ethics in creating a deliverable assignment.
Claire: Absolutely terrible. I've somehow been cursed with the reputation of being the smart one, and now just about everyone expects me to be group leader, or the only one in the group who holds the collective brain cell.
Group work would be so much easier if people actually did their work on time, did some critical thinking, and acted like sentient creatures instead of human vegetables who would only carry out orders.
SAYS: A shared experience between autistic individuals are the challenges in maintaining relationships outside of family. Have you experienced this too?
Fared: I would say that even within family relations, it can be quite challenging. I tend to struggle with social cues and typical conventions of interacting with others, so miscommunication is common. However, I've been able to find more fellow neurodivergent peers to get along with, as well as reach out to similar communities.
It can be difficult when you are not able to access a wider network of people, but making friends and maintaining relationships is very much possible.
Claire: Definitely, 100%. I don't know if by wanting to be someone's friend, I'll come off as too pushy or annoying. It's like neurotypical people have psychic telepathy or something. It's a constant guessing game.
However, it's easier on online platforms, because I get to see everyone's tweets and posts and I can get an idea of who they are, what they like, and consequently, how to talk to them. I've since made casual friendships with some folks online.
I already have a strong, small friend group of other neurodivergent Malaysians. We're super open in communicating with each other so I don't have to sit through guessing games.
SAYS: Do you think your university provides you enough support as an autistic individual? What would you like to see?
Fared: I believe in terms of my own individual needs, the lecturers in my university have been very accommodating. As mentioned before, they allowed me to attend classes according to my capabilities and not penalise me for imperfect attendance.
Otherwise, schedules and workload are not well paced, even for neurotypical people, what more to those who are not.
Claire: I can't speak for all autistic people, because we all exist on a spectrum, but I'm alright as long as I keep my head down and do my work.
However, I would like to see universities dedicate classes to teaching people how to work in group projects. If people knew a sort of formula or code of conduct to follow, my life would be much easier.
Also, maybe the option to work solo? I understand group work is to help prepare us for the working world and all, but I haven't really learnt much from working in a group other than knowing how to immediately spot who's gonna be a liability.
SAYS: What are your plans after university? What's your dream job?
Fared: Currently, I am freelancing full-time, all while working on a game development contract job. To be honest, I think I achieved my "dream job" in wanting to earn a living in the games industry and arts industry.
Ideally, I hope for a world free from the shackles of capitalism where we can dream of community and creation, but as of now, I am satisfied with how I make a living despite its challenges.
Claire: Probably realistically speaking, I'll land a small-time office day job and supplement that work with art commissions. I'd really like a job in copyediting, like for a news site or for fiction. I want a small day job so it'll hopefully allow me more time to work on art.
My dream job is to do art for indie games and especially to work on my own narrative projects and comics. I really want to do games and comics because I love using art as a narrative tool.
Glossary
– Neurodivergent is a non-medical umbrella description of people with variation in their mental functions. Neurodivergent conditions include autism, dyspraxia, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and ADHD, among others.
– Neurotypical is used to describe individuals who think, perceive, and behave in ways that are considered the norm by the general population.
– Masking is a word used to describe when individuals with ASD learn, practise, and perform certain behaviours and suppress others in order to be more like the people around them.
– Cognitive behavioural therapy is a talking therapy that can help people manage their problems by changing the way they think and behave. It's most commonly used to treat anxiety and depression, but can be useful for other mental and physical health problems.
