We Asked Couples Who've Been Married For 50+ Years For Advice On A Long And Happy Marriage
Three couples tell us what they have done over the past five decades to make their marriages work.
By Katrina Khairul Azman — 24 Apr 2018, 06:52 PM
Being in a successful relationship for most of your life is no easy nor small feat
No one would deny that marriage involves hard work and commitment, but it comes as no surprise that in this day and age, people have become more skeptical of the idea of "happily ever after".
With the increasing rate of divorce over the years, for any number of reasons, it is often difficult to have faith that relationships can stand the test of time.
With that said, we have heard of love stories enduring the test of time, so we asked three couples who have been married for over 50 years for the key to having a long and lasting marriage:
1. Wan Zakiah and Abdul Aziz, married for 59 years
SAYS: When and how did you meet?
Wan Zakiah: We had an arranged marriage in 1959, so I suppose a little before that. Our fathers knew each other so one day a mutual friend came over to ask for my hand on his behalf.
We met once before we got married, he sent me home that day and I thought he was smart. The quiet type, but smart. I liked that.
SAYS: What do you think is important in order to have a long and happy marriage?
Abdul Aziz: You must enjoy each other's company, but more importantly, you must understand each other. That doesn't happen overnight, so you must work at it. It's worth it when you finally get there.
The man must be prepared to take responsibility. My wife will say she's always right. Even if she isn't, sometimes it's better for the both of us if she wins. Take care of your family, always make sure they're happy.
Wan Zakiah: Marry someone that you know will only enrich your life. Don't settle for anything less, because then what's the point of spending your life with them? You will go nowhere.
If you marry someone you think is better than you, then you will be inspired to be better, so that you can match them.
2. Vasantha and Subbiah, married for 62 years
SAYS: When and how did you meet?
Vasantha: We have known each other since birth. We got married in our village in Thiruppathur on 6 December 1956, then we migrated to Malaysia on Merdeka day, 31 August 1957.
SAYS: What do you think is important in order to have a long and happy marriage?
Vasantha: It's important to have tolerance towards each other especially when times are difficult and your marriage is tested. Always remind your partner how much you appreciate them.
We raised 11 kids. It was never going to be easy, but when times were challenging, you have to give and take.
Subbiah: If there are any disagreements in any matter, never push your problems aside, always find a solution that satisfies both parties.
All marital problems can be solved through communication rather than blaming each other. It's important to never keep grudges because it's unhealthy and it will affect both you and your partner.
3. Teoh Hooi Kheng and Tan Thean Whye, married for 63 years
SAYS: When and how did you meet?
Teoh Hooi Kheng: We were introduced by friends in 1955. I was very nervous because he was so tall and handsome.
Tan Thean Whye: I thought she was very sweet and soft spoken. It was the norm to get married at an early age those days, so with consent from our families, we were married that June.
SAYS: What do you think is important in order to have a long and happy marriage?
Teoh Hooi Kheng: The early years were tough, we went through a lot of hardships because the children were born one after another.
With eight children, patience and tolerance are very important. At the end of the day, your family members are the best people you're ever going to meet, so you must take care of them.
Teoh Hooi Kheng: Above anything else, couples need to show each other constant support.
Love your family unconditionally because nothing else matters more than they do.
