Everything Wrong With 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' In 15 Hilariously Scathing Reviews
The moral of the story is, kinky sex scenes are not all it's cracked up to be.
By Samantha Khor — 06 Feb 2015, 02:50 PM — Updated over 9 years ago
Ah... 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. The crazy popular erotic novels that awakened many a reader's inert desires and unexpectedly blew up almost every best-selling list worldwide.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard of these books and even read them (or at the very least, KNOW what the book is about) as well as the upcoming movie that has already been banned in Malaysia for its less-than-appropriate nature.
Many waxed lyrical about the books, but the laws of pop culture do not discriminate. 'Fifty Shades' has its share of haters, as is evident from these scathing yet pretty hilarious 1-star reviews on Amazon:
Spoiler alert: Some of these reviews concern plot elements. If you're concerned about that, of course.
1. If you want to be kinky, you'd better pray you're good-looking
Full review here.
2. When the entire plot was accurately summarised into a series of blushing, gasping, lip-biting, and 'down there's
Full review here.
3. Now you know what to get your arch enemy for their birthday or Christmas
Full review here.
4. When all semblance of credibility went out the window... because how on Earth can someone not have an e-mail address in the 21st century?!
Full review here.
5. Cats are so awesome they can write better and "hotter" sex scenes than a published author
Full review here.
6. Instead of spending money on the books, there's a lot of better-written sex scenes fanfiction.net and AO3. Serious.
For context, the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' trilogy was originally a 'Twilight' fan fiction series titled 'Master of the Universe'.
Full review here.
7. How to eloquently describe how "rubbish" a novel made you feel
Full review here.
8. When someone pointed out the female lead's limited vocabulary...
Full review here.
9. ... and that Christian Grey is modelled on Prince Harry.
Full review here.
10. We're impressed by this reviewer who took the time to count how many times particular words are repeated in the books. Or maybe they just used the "Word Count" function.
Full review here.
12. This reviewer had more faith in the literary skills of a handicapped penguin than E.L. James'
Full review here.
13. Looks like Christian Grey's "unique desires" aren't that unique after all...
Full review here.
14. To be fair, you can turn the chore of "mowing lawns" to something fun...? No?
Full review here.
